Did anyone watch Everybody Loves Raymond on Starworld last night? I so totally forgot about Project Runway which I have been following the last week, all because it's Monday. One whole night, I was bothered by this niggling feeling of 'what am I missing or forgetting?'. Well, for tonight, I've made a mental note to watch Grey's Anatomy and Project Runway. Last night I only caught the ending and Brad was kicked out. The moment I heard 'poor tailoring', I knew it was not going to be Robert.
Anyway, back to Everybody Loves Raymond, Mom and I have agreed that he wasn't an exemplary hubby. Debra looked haggard most of time either doing everything being the supermom she was, or because she was trying to knock some sense into Raymond's head.
Last night's episode was funny and it was about 'Dr. Raymond' forgetting to mention Debra in his thank you speech. Though Debra was hurt, she tried to be happy for him and not ruin his special day. But Amy picked up on it, got it out of her and told Raymond. Unfortunately, Robert overheard and boy, was he gleeful and now the family knew. Can't remember if it was Robert or his dad who suggested that they buried him in his robes!
Raymond apologizes to Debra but spoils the apology by trying to justify why he could have forgotten her. Because he was thanking people/ who had helped him/ at that time/ in college./ And obviously she wasn't one of them.
So now she didn't help at all? What was she doing when he was writing his speech if not to build up his confidence etc. etc.?
Yeah, she helped by cutting him down first then building him up; maybe, unconsciously, something in his brain prevented him from thanking her!
"Subconsciously, you mean," she corrected him, "unconsciously means you're asleep."
"I'm a stupid doctor!"
Oh God, so painful to watch him trying to pull both feet out of his mouth.
But okay, Raymond tries to redeem himself by thanking his wife in his column, and Debra was very happy, and it was indeed well written that if it hadn't been for Debra's smile, he wouldn't have had achieved one dream which enabled him to concentrate on his other dreams. But who should turn up but HIS MOTHER reminding him of her 19 hours of labour!
And his father, and Amy and Robert! Robert who felt that he should be credited for Raymond's success because he too had his own column, and this triggered competitiveness in Raymond to outdo him.
My husband was like, "the women in his life are kinda horrible."
Well, ya but he doesn't know how to handle them, and the way he tries to justify his actions always come out wrong because it's not his fault. Plus, he's short sighted. He handles one problem but creates another. But his saving grace is that he's trying. Nobody can fault a person for trying.
It also depends on the other person. You think you're being supportive but you might not be viewed that way. Finally, after so many years, I understood what might have gone wrong in one of my longest childhood frienships, from Std 5 since I knew her until graduating in uni. Somewhere along the way, I was not good enough anymore, and she preferred my friends and tried to exclude me out of her planning and activities. Everyone had a boyfriend but me. FYI, my hubby is my first love and I married him. I met him when I was 25. It was a whirlwind romance in that it happened so quickly and then we were married already. Interesting huh? But it wasn't love at first sight. I couldn't make up my mind if I liked his looks or not. But I love my hubby's sense of humour. Anyway, I had no boyfriends prior to that and I was happy being single. My mom was sooo worried though because everyone around me was getting married and to add salt to the wound, they were younger! So, to please her or rather to keep her quiet, I did go out on blind dates that well meaning friends tried to set up for me and somehow that gave me the courage to meet and accept my hubby.
Enough background story. Main point was I had no boyfriends, didn't have one before and wasn't looking for one. I'd always thought I'd end up with a more mature man, someone older, like my dad and my mom. So I never really looked at guys in college. My friends of course, had boyfriends and two in this group of 4 actually married the guys they were dating. And one of them was of course my oldest friend. (FYI, we're okay now, still in touch but the closeness is not really the same). Whenever she had problem with her guy and was unhappy, there I was, always on her side, saying that if he didn't know how to make her happy, then he wasn't worthy of her. And if he tried to make up with her and I see his effort, I said, "There you go, he's trying." Kinda like Meredith telling Izzy, "Good riddance!" when she caught whathisname with the nurse whatshername. But Izzy didn't see it as support. Support to Izzy was to be there for her through the pain, the way she, Izzy was there for Meredith when Meredith found out McDreamy or Sheppard was married. I mean, now I understand that this must be the what went wrong in our friendship, but my friend was the type who, if she felt hurt by you, would never tell you that you've hurt her. Instead she'd give you the silent treatment and lets you figure it out by yourself. And you're not a mindreader! That's why I always make it a point to make my dissatisfaction known before I give the silent treatment, if I give the silent treatment, which I don't usually.
And when she's okay with it, she acts like nothing happened. I must say it was a pretty confusing friendship for me. Maybe my other friends, being involved as well, consoled her better, I don't know. But I do understand now that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I dunno if she's happy or sad or resigned with her choice of life partner but I wish her all the happiness in the world. Whatever I said that seemed to have hurt her so, I said with good intentions and only with her happiness in mind. If that destroyed the friendship, then I guess I was not accepted for who I was. And I can tell you the lesson that I learnt from my broken friendship was relationships are about give and take and you should accept people the way they are. If you feel that you have to walk around on eggshells, then you are not true to yourself and to that person.
1 comment:
This episode annoyed me because there were two glaring errors, and both errors were cases where one person makes a CORRECT remark, but is then corrected by another with an INCORRECT correction. The first one was when Ray announces he will receive an honorary doctorate, to which his mother says something like, "Oh, my boy the doctor!" and Ray responds, "'Doctorate,' Ma. They call it a 'doctorate.'" Ray is wrong here because a doctorate is what makes someone a doctor (MD, JD, PhD, ScD, etc.) and so the mother is actually correct. Then later, when Ray says he omitted Debra from his speech "unconsciously," Debra corrects him and says, "Subconsciously. Unconscious means you're asleep." Again, the first speaker (Ray) is correct, and the corrector (Debra) is wrong. There are only two general states of consciousness (which in this context means awareness). You are either aware of what you are doing or not. There is no third option (although there are certainly degrees of awareness). The term 'subconscious' is actually a psychoanalytic term used to explain the psychic tryptich that Freud came up with (i.e. id, ego, superego). Outside of psychoanalysis, the subconscious really has no use, and in fact works to cause confusion. Finally, with the great disfavor of psychoanalysis in the late 20th century, the writers of this show should have realized how inane this dialogue sounded.
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